So I’m a tourist in my own life, am I?
OK, so let’s go with that.
A) It’s better than no trip at all.
And 2) Mind your own beeswax.
Travel Tips
Month: June 2018
Letter Home
Dear Mom & Dad:
Things are great at Commedia Camp so far. Just wanted you to see what I’ve been up to.
Love,
Your Daughter, Margaret Anne
Inside-Out
It is easy to live life unconsciously hurting yourself in ways that seem subtle, but add up.
These are the small and large ways I deprive myself daily:
I do not drink enough water
I wait until my towels and sheets are seriously past their prime before getting new ones
I hurl myself through experiences sometimes with little attention to the scared parts of me that are there being hurled too
I push myself to seem happier than I feel so as not to bum others out
I push away my anger, hearing my father’s voice: “No one loves an angry girl.”
I skip over little hurts (but they still hurt,) sending the message that they don’t count (but they do)
I don’t take the time to cheer myself for all that I am doing right
I hold off going to pee until it is the last minute
How are you depriving yourself in little and large ways?
Acknowledge that, turn each thing around on itself by identifying the opposite action, and voila! You have a beautiful self-care list!
Stalled
There is such a thing as sitting on the fence too long
If you wait too long to make a choice to go to one side or the other
You might lose the impetus to move altogether
The impulse that got you up on the fence in the first place
Might die a quiet but painful little death
At the very least
You risk getting splinters in your bottom
Personal Prophet
I don’t believe in prophecy
That the Divine chooses certain people over others
I believe we are all divine
And carry within us a higher self who knows the way
I don’t worship kings or popes or leaders who rule through fear
I believe together we will find our way through
To the Light
Note to Self
I’m in awe of you
Of your courage
The capacity of your heart to forgive
Your continual willingness to try no matter what
Your full-hearted commitment to living your truth
Your love of life that always manages to overcome your darkness
Your never- ending spirit in the face of despair
I am in awe of you
You are my hero
Open Book
How I would love to empty out my mind
Of all that I have learned, all that I know
To be clean and clear, an open slate
Wonder would woosh in on angel’s wings
Excitement and joy, contentment and unselfconsciousness
Childlike, open, ready to live fully
In my body, and out of my mind
Constant Companion
A hunger, an appetite
For more of what, I do not know
Resides inside me all the time
Tells me how to feel, where to go
Will fight hard to get what’s mine
Begrudges others getting theirs
I try to feed it, it just wants more
It doesn’t trust that I am there
And so I love her anyway, since, after all, she’s mine
I try to guide her, try to soothe her
I accept her enormous need
I take her hand and sing her songs
And hope that one day, she’ll be freed
Hello, Old Friend
The clown nose.
The world’s smallest mask.
When donned, it can bring magic to the courageous soul underneath.
If you give yourself to it.
Let it lead the way.
Soften your brain. Let your eyes open big, your eyebrows go up.
Let your tongue be heavy in your mouth.
Begin to look for sparkly things as you inhale and reach to find your wonder, just above your head.
Oh, there you are.
There you are.
Hello, old friend.
In Recovery
I am a recovering perfectionist.
(I write of this often.)
One of the most helpful tools I have learned to use to work with this -ism is the following mantra:
“Done is better than perfect.”
― Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
Boy, has this helped me make great strides.
Before this quote found its way into my psyche, I would procrastinate out the wazoo, or sit on and spin out over a project, desperate for it to be “complete” enough to put in the public eye.
Problem was, nothing was ever “good enough” to be complete.
It was hard at first, but by now, I am much better at just getting it done and out there. Through practice, I am learning the value of getting it done and letting it go.
I can always make changes and improve later.
Better done than perfect. Because perfect never comes.
Beyond the Skinny Branches 