I’ve been dancing on the skinny branches
It’s been a long time coming
No longer hiding ‘neath the foliage
Or burying myself in the gnarled knots of life
I am ready to fly, put these wings to use
I love the skinny branches, they’ve showed me myself
But the sky is beckoning with winking clouds
And the wind is calling my name
And trees never hold on to anything
So why on earth should I?
“Yeah, typical,” she said to no one in particular, as she entered the last room of her day that needed cleaning to find it looking as if it had been ransacked by the CIA, fallen victim to yet another collegiate tsunami.
As she surveyed the wreckage, she knew that she’d never be done in time to make her class at the local community college.
“If only,” she said, shaking her head, as visions of somehow wreaking havoc on those who so thoughtlessly tore through her hometown every March ignited enough of an impetus to begin the work necessary to restore the room to occupancy.
I am silk
I am leather, too
Sheer netting
Tough canvas tarp
Sheepskin soft
Sandpaper rough
Embroidered pieces
Trimmed in fringe
Delicate lace
Burlap sack
Thick-fitted felt
Smooth suede
Paper-thin linen
Scratchy wool
And cool satin am I
Messiness has gotten a bad rap.
From childhood on, I was taught to value tidy and clean over cluttered and dirty.
Being seen as a “mess” is something to avoid at all costs today. There is shame in being seen as messy.
Look at any social media feed. Selfie taking has been developed into an art form. There’s been an increase in nose jobs, and the reason for them? It is people wanting to look better for their selfies! No one, for the most part, is proudly posting their mess. Unless it is an apartment reno in process or a confessional “staged mess” to make a humorous point of some kind.
With such socio-cultural pressure, it is no wonder that I learned to strive for perfection in all things, especially the presentation of my self.
I literally dreaded being seen without makeup or with a hair out of place.
And God forbid I was to have a negative emotion! Shove that way down, baby! Slap a grin on it and pose.
Trouble is, the very nature of life is change. And change, my friends, is messy.
Ergo, life is messy.
It has been quite an unraveling, this perfection mechanism. I’ve had to unpack a load to get to my mess.
And once I found my mess, I had to come to love it.
I will be honest. at first, all I wanted to do was get rid of it!
Thankfully, I have some teachers in my life who are artists. Artists know the value of mess. They helped me understand that it is in my mess that my talent lives.
And so began an embracing. Of my mess. Of change. Of life.
It has been challenging at tines, sure. This is not an overnight process.
But boy is it incredible.
My home is neat and tidy. I am an organized woman. I crave order.
But I relish getting messy and allowing myself to be seen in my mess too. And the most fulfilling parts of my creativity are gloriously messy!
Today, I am a love-able mess living a messy, wonderful, creatively fulfilling life. And I say that with pride, not apology.
Messy is as messy does is more than fine for me.
That’s right
I’d like a restart, please
I’d like one more shot
At being who I am
I’ve really gotten
So much of it all
So wrong
So come on, Universe
Watcha think?
How ’bout a do-over?!
Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: restart
The light inside
Early on
I learned to dim
Shining brightly
Was dangerous
All sink, and no swim
I try now to be,
To let, to shine
To radiate freely
All that is mine
It’s high time to assemble you all
To congregate the many parts of my self
That with which I struggle and push
And that which brings me joy and wealth
The brave, the meek, the in-between
Sit you all aside one another in peace
I promise equal time for all: I love you each
It is time for the Great War to cease
I learned long ago
How to leave my body
Escape what was
Incomprehensibly horrific
I saved my own life
Salvaged my sanity
(Such as it was)
But there’s a price to be paid for such traveling
You cannot escape the bad
Without missing out on the good
I could leave my body
At any time today
But I choose not to
I have other ways to cope
That don’t cost so much
Recently, a wise woman I know was talking about the earth: how we are the earth and yet are poisoning it. About how confusing and heartbreaking that is.
I cannot stop reflecting on that. This poem reminds me of my own connection to Mother Earth, one that I have come to cherish, but being an urban dweller, I can often “forget.”
I needed this poem today. (Some days are rougher than others.) Maybe you do too.
“And the Great Mother said:
Come my child and give me all that you are.
I am not afraid of your strength and darkness, of your fear and pain.
Give me your tears. They will be my rushing rivers and roaring oceans.
Give me your rage. It will erupt into my molten volcanoes and rolling thunder.
Give me your tired spirit. I will lay it to rest in my soft meadows.
Give me your hopes and dreams. I will plant a field of sunflowers and arch rainbows in the sky.
You are not too much for me. My arms and heart welcome your true fullness.
There is room in my world for all of you, all that you are.
I will cradle you in the boughs of my ancient redwoods and the valleys of my gentle rolling hills.
My soft winds will sing you lullabies and soothe your burdened heart.
Release your deep pain.
You are not alone and you have never been alone.”
~Linda Reuther, Homecoming
I feel you there
All the hearts of those before me
Your dreams are in mine
Or are my dreams echoes
Of what you imagined for yourselves
I want to be what you could not be
Do what you could not
Live more fully
More freely
Give those who’ll follow me
Dreams less encrusted
With the pain of the past
Create a new narrative
Of True Love and Joy
Give the future a love that will last
Beyond the Skinny Branches 