A tiny world of experience
A blink of the eye
A split-second connection
Like breath, but different
Connects me to my innerscape
Reinforces my sense of self
In the often-overwhelm
Of being in the world
Shade
living life out loud
Composition
Too many voices within
An unwelcome cacophony
Disparate threads collide
Influence my life strategy
Others’ conversations
Nag and berate, then subside
Get still, they said, and listen
You will hear your Self inside
It’s the quiet one underneath
Just make some space within
So I tried to push the static aside
I didn’t value what it had to say
Tried to drown out those others’ voices
That had somehow become a part of mine
And in doing so, I lost my way
But now I know their message is important
They just need to be heard and known
Like a feeling just wants to be felt
They need to not feel all alone
So now I listen to the threads
One by one, I unravel each song
I give back those not mine to those who sang them first
Tell them I’ll always carry their song in mine
No longer at odds, there is now harmony
My voice resonates with many voices as one
And the music of my soul makes perfect sense to me
Love Poultice
You kissed the scars
The carvings he made
On the inside of my thighs
Ugly remnants of his violence
And just like that
I felt the wound heal
Red, raw angry skin
Became baby-smooth again
Remembrance
“I’ve forgotten how to be in my own body,” she said
“I feel like I have woken up in a foreign land”
I took her by the hand
Led her down the the sea
“Sit down and let the waves remind you,” I said
We lay back, and with closed eyes
Became one with the ocean
The undulation, the caress and push-pull
We let ourselves be swallowed
And we became mermaids again
Bodies arching, diving
Arms moving through the water
Embracing the flow of the tide
She started crying tears of deeply relieved joy
And so then did I, to see her find home again
Our salt tears mixed with the salt of the sea
And when we finally returned to the shore and found our legs again
We took the ocean with us in the sway of our hips
And the pulse of our hearts
Feline Lifeline
Forlorn once was I
No hope was in sight
I’d fought hard to live
But felt I’d lost the fight
Were it not for my cats
Wouldn’t’ve made it through
How sad that’ve been
For I’d never’ve met you
A Funnel Cake Life
Sometimes I still think everything would be fine
If I just had a deep-fried Twinkie or two (or three)
Or perhaps a few handfuls of Lilac chocolates
A half dozen chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven
A pint of Moose-tracks or Honey ice cream melted just to the right consistency
A big bag of Jelly Bellys, assorted will do, but plenty of Popcorn, Chocolate Pudding and Cherry, please
Some Banana Cream Pie
A box of salt water taffy
And unlimited funnel cakes
My sugar days are over, alas
But I still long for its soothing, sticky-sweet promises
Carnival-candy dreams for a happy life ahead
The high, the pleasure, the fullness, the love
I miss it all
But I know better
Viable
Mightn’t I just lay down now
I’m so tired
Passed bone-weary last year
Let me just go to sleep
And never waken
Wish my beloveds a sweet farewell
There’s never been a moment of peace
I think I’ve earned some at this point
Maybe this has all been a random experiment
And my cell, never one that was expected to live
Maybe I beat the odds having come this far anyway
Maybe the Universe will sigh a sigh of relief when I let go
Maybe
Welcome 2018!
I may need to change the name of my blog.
You see, I am in the midst of doing some exercises that I do each year to help me let go of the passing year and welcome the new one with a clean slate, set intentions and get clear about how I want to feel in the coming year.
Two of my favorite exercises come from the work of Susannah Conway. She generously offers a free Find Your Word program each year, and this year I am deep in the midst of it. Some people do it before the year ends, but I do mine the first week of the new year, in tandem with another process I have learned from her: Unravel Your Year.
With her Unravel Your Year workbook, I go over the year and look at what happened. I celebrate the wins and I embrace the lessons. I identify the things I want to keep doing and the things I would like to change. I ask myself what I want more of in the year ahead, and what I want less of. I envision what I would like to be doing and how I want to feel in the year ahead.
There is so much in both of these free programs — I am barely touching on the content here. I get so excited about them that I just had to share them with you. I highly, highly recommend them! (Thank you Susannah Conway!)
But back to my blog and the name of my blog.
I am in the midst of these year end/year ahead processes and am choosing my word or phrase for 2018. So far words like SOAR, BELIEF, SHINE, GOLDEN, REAL, YES and RISE are coming up repeatedly for me.
I began this blog as an attempt to start moving myself out of my self-contained shell of introversion, secrecy and shame and into the world where I could be seen, known and heard as I really am instead of the presentations I had so artfully created and utilized throughout my survival years on this planet. Hence the “skinny branches,” as I was moving out onto the skinny branches.
But now, I am finding that I want to fly. I want to leap off of the skinny branches and soar to new places, new dimensions. I want to test my wings in the sky.
So I have a dilemma. I love the name of my blog and it has meant so much to me. But I am ready for more than just life on the skinny branches. Do I change the name of my blog, or do I just keep growing and writing about it and let the name stand?
That will be a question I live for the new year, amongst many others.
Maybe that will be my word for 2018: Question.
I am not afraid of living in these questions today, of being “in process.”
2017 taught me how to really allow for that. Unexpected events of the year got me questioning everything in my life. And I mean everything. It was scary at first, and I am still in the midst of it so cannot tell you where it has brought me exactly, but I can tell you tat I know in my gut that it is very important and that where I am going through it is very good.
So we will see what lies ahead.
More to come.
However you choose to usher in the new year, I send my very best wishes to the world and to you for much peace and love in 2018.
A gift I also want to share with you today on this first day of the year is a wonderful 2018 welcoming resource by one of my favorite people (and bloggers) on the planet, Lisa Adams.
Her post today was just too beautiful, inspiring and nourishing not to share. She is a chef amongst her many talents and gifts, so it makes sense that her blog posts are always nourishing.
Enjoy! And Happy 2018!
Over the Rainbow is Here
Today I bid thee farewell, my special unhappiness
You have been a steady companion lo these many years
You have held my hand and held me back
Kept me safe, yes, but also kept me on the outside
Looking in at my own life
I thought you were a force beyond my grasp
I thought you were put inside me
That I was a host and you had taken root
Turns out that like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz
I have had the key all along
All it takes is this: my decision to let you go
I am sovereign over my own self
And I no longer want you here, in the driver’s seat
So farewell, my old friend
I am sure you will raise your voice now and then
But I choose to no longer recognize your power
So you may wish to find a new dwelling
My heart is full of other things now
There is no space for you here
Sacred Space
Snuggling against your body
I feel your warmth
The rise and fall of your breath
My own heartbeat
As I press my chest into your back
My face fits cozily
Between your neck and the pillow
This is everything, I think
This is everything
Beyond the Skinny Branches 