The darkness descended
The blight that you brought to my lands
Soul-grooves
Worn into my heart
Rivulets of salt-tears
Eroded the once-pristine landscape inside
But I’ve started a conservancy
To build my self up again
Renew, rebuild, regrowth
One day, no traces of you will remain on my terrain
And the wind will carry the seeds of my heartlands
To populate fertile fields so that love will spread
And color the world a thousand shades of beautiful
Of notable worth:
My eyes
My smile
My heart
My soul
These remain
These are intact
These are mine
I’m an angry cur
I sit and lick my wounds
No longer on a chain
I stay put and don’t run off
Tremble at the feet of my abuser
Long since a ghost: no more a man
Yet his switch is alive in my body-mind
Can I rescue my self
Get myself to a shelter
Learn how to trust and to love
Retrain the cower out of my body and soul
Lose the haunted look in my eyes
Allow me to return
All that you bestowed upon me
Including, but not limited to
A cautious nature
Fear of people
Embarrassment at being seen in my enthusiasm
The tendency to be cynical
Body self-consciousness
Shame
Self-doubt
Feel free to do what you will with these
I no longer wish to live from them
They were never mine to begin with
Who is the authentic me
The me I feel I am inside
Or the me that everyone sees in me
I feel you there
In a parallel Universe
The me that I haven’t lived up to in this one
Did you steal away my confidence
Maybe took more than your share
Do you laugh easily
And let harsh words roll off of your back
While I am still guarded after all these years trying not to be
And take everything people say to heart
Can we meet somewhere in-between our two worlds
What separates two parallels
Have an equal exchange
I’ll give you some of my excess
There must be something I’ve got that you want
Thoughts tangle.
I trip inside.
An abrupt disrupt,
Attempted temptations
Collide with Puritanical
Whispers in my marrow
From ancient stern-lipped marms.
Harnessed and restrained,
My instincts choke,
Wane and die.
Only their ghosts remain,
Ricocheting within.
Yes, it’s true
I think most small talk
Is just froth
I’m sure it serves someone
But not me
Her eyes were luminescent
I saw straight into her soul
All else had been but stripped away
She was left to be simply whole
Her dying body housed a loving heart
And from that she shone and she was
I came to know that all that matters
Is our humanness – our goodness, and flaws
That’s perfectly fine.
I’m in no rush.
Go ahead and finish your conversation.
I mean, I’m just a customer in need of service.
There’s four of you behind that counter.
None of you are doing anything job-related.
Does Starbucks employ managers?
I think not.
Unless one of you is one of them.
Wow.
That’s a depressing thought.
I’ll just wait.
Send that Snapchat.
Read that text.
No need to bother yourself.
No need at all.
I’ll just work myself up into a lather,
And when you finally come over to me
And I let all hell loose on you,
You will treat me like I am the problem.
Maybe you’ll even report me to the manager-if-they-do-exist-at-all.
Not worth it.
I’m leaving and I won’t be back.
(Until next time.)
Beyond the Skinny Branches 