“I can do that,” she thought.
And as other thoughts began to churn in her mind – self-recriminations, doubts, fears – she made the decision then and there to follow only the quietest of them all.
And just like that, she was off on a new life-road from which she would never look back.
There is a world within
Where past and future meet
I go there to explore
Hear history in my heartbeat
Everyone that ever was
I am connected to through breath
In future others’ I’ll live on
Long after my body’s death
Warning: This woman no longer accepts less than she deserves. At times, may erupt into genuine, whole-body laughter. Has been known to cry when she is so moved, and could care less about what other people think of her. Determined to use her voice and talents until her last dying breath. Interact with her at your own risk. Could cause deep joy and love when taken with respect.
When the self betrays the soul
There’s a wounding, a loss
It takes trust and love
For the wound to heal
For the piece that left
To feel safe enough to return
To believe that that betrayal
Will never happen again
What that part cannot know
Is that once it comes back
The self will fight to the death
To keep her home, to keep her whole
“You don’t have to get all frantic about it,” she said to herself soothingly as she realized that the gel manicured nail of her right forefinger had just come un-gelled and fallen off.
“Life will go on. It is not the end of the world,” she continued, though somewhere inside was a part that did indeed experience such an event as life and death, and no amount of coaxing was ever going to change that part of her mind.
And so it was that she stopped the car and ran into CVS pharmacy to buy a box of Bandaids to use one to cover the naked nail, and to appease that part that simply could not move forward without it.
They play exquisite pieces
The four musicians in my mind
Used to fight them, used to hate them
Now I remember to be kind
Perfectionista, Cautionella
The Judge, The Belligerent One
Each designed and crafted by me
They’ve served a purpose, have expertise
I appreciate their music and let them go
“I hear you, thank you, you may stop now, please.”
Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: quartet
all it took was a second
less than a second, really
a micro-second
a nano-second
and suddenly, the world was
forever
changed
Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: microInspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: micro
Somewhere along the way, I learned to value efficiency over my own sanity.
I mean, I can multi-task something fierce. Today, my day began at 7 AM and had been straight through from meeting to class to rehearsal to workout to an hour and a half with nothing planned.
I had intended to relax and have a shake and chill until I needed to leave for the next thing, a class that would go until 10 PM. But no, I ended up doing other things, and all at once.
I ended up troubleshooting with an Adobe support person while making a shake with my Nutri-Bullet, and helping a friend in need on the phone through a rough time. My hour and a half quickly dissolved into a remaining ten minutes to get out the door and on to the next thing, and I still hadn’t rested or had my shake.
It was crazy! And thank God, the better part of me knew it. I was not with any one of those fully. I at least had the presence of mind to tell my friend that while I was glad she called and that I could absolutely make time for her, that I couldn’t give her my full attention, and I wanted to.
The truth is, I have to make a concerted effort to stop myself during the day to drink water, go to the restroom, take a breath.
It is hard for me to not see “downtime” as inefficient.
When did I begin to de-value just “being”? Why the frenzy to always fill every possible slot of time with actions and tasks?
It doesn’t really matter. I could blame it one the world today. This digital age. That I live in NYC.
All I know is that after several days like that, I will crash. My system will revolt.
I need those pockets of doing nothing. To refill me well. To daydream. To be blank. To breathe.
I practically have to schedule them. They are still not second nature. My second nature is to get into the frenzy.
But, today aside, I am getting better. Awareness is all, right? And action.
Or should I say, inaction!?
How do you get yourself to remember to do nothing?
she stands still
listening to the audience
beyond the curtain
seated out past the stage
there’s a drone, a buzz
there’s a fish swimming in her belly
heart pounding
blood feeling electric in her veins
the adrenaline rush of excitement
that familiar moment of panic
will the words be there
will her body remember the moves
then comes the moment of hush
as the lights dim to black
the exquisite agony of the few seconds before
the curtain rises
then she glides out
enters into the sacred
and the ride begins
Beyond the Skinny Branches 