I feel you there
All the hearts of those before me
Your dreams are in mine
Or are my dreams echoes
Of what you imagined for yourselves
I want to be what you could not be
Do what you could not
Live more fully
More freely
Give those who’ll follow me
Dreams less encrusted
With the pain of the past
Create a new narrative
Of True Love and Joy
Give the future a love that will last
I hear you
My constant companions
Some whispering, some insistent
All desperate to be heard
Reaching from behind to steer me
Safely through the world
A world you did not survive
I hear you
I do
But I must find my own way
Must live new mistakes
And leave this world
Having lived new ways of being in it
I hear you
I do
And I say
Thank you
And I say
Goodbye
I have finally come to terms with Life
We’ve come to a compromise
Instead of me wanting a different one or mine to end
I’m giving myself fully to this one, no holding back
In return, Life agrees to continue to be fully what She is
(And to let me think it’s a compromise when really, She has won me over)
I take a deep breath
Connect to all who’ve been before
Feel my mother’s mother’s heartbeat in mine
What I yearn for
I don’t always understand
Whose dreams am I living
Are they of the present or the past
“Have courage,”
The ladybug whispered to the budding rose
Whose hesitation expressed itself in a tight bud
And just that, that little bit of encouragement
Made all the difference in the world
And with that, she began to bloom
Pull me down from my pedestal
It’s cold up here alone
Strip me of my saintly ancestry
It’s too heavy, stifling, to be worn
Breathe life into my marbled joints
Let your sweat salt my flesh
Season my womanhood into full form
So I can become a stranger to my former self
Want to wear you like a costume
Stretch my arms inside your sleeves
Disappear inside your skinsuit
Make a home I’ll never leave
A parent saying no to a child’s request when it is not in his/her best interest even though it is hard to be the “bad cop”
Helping a beloved furry love move on when their life has become filled with pain
My father chronicling my mother’s daily meds and health with incredible detail as her caregiver at the end of her life
Watching my grandparents head out for a walk, seeing them simultaneously reach for the other’s hand without looking
The way my husband takes care of the car and I do the shopping
That he professes to love the parts of my body that I so do not
The people who maintain a community garden as volunteers, on the weekend
A father reading a book aloud to his daughter on the train instead of giving her a screen to watch
Happy Valentines Day! My husband and I work hard on our marriage every day. We consciously choose to do so. That is real love to me, and something I am grateful for and appreciative of every day.
So no grand gestures of love needed for me this or any other February 14th.
Every day is a gift we give each other.
What does real love look like to you?
#reallove #everydayisvalentinesday
No more lectures
I get it
I’m nothing, compared to you
I see your size
You have the power
At this point
You’re preaching to the choir
Do you feel that small
Need me to know
My smallness next to you
Who would we both be
If you held me up
And let me reach
My full height
Where is she
I sit on the bed and wait
Eyes closed, heart in hand
Try again to conjure
The girl I once was
The one before
Before you
Before it
Where is she
Where am I
Beyond the Skinny Branches 